My dear friend Frank sent this joke. Seems like a good way to end the weekend.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”

old people

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a sh..-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote… Personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had a Republican sticker… We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.. It’s important at our age.

Blame it on the retirees.  There has to be a moral here somewhere.  The sticker could easily become a Democrat sticker.  Out of respect for the sender, I kept the joke in its original form.

21 Thoughts to “What Retired People Do”

  1. marinm

    That’s so funny. But, thanks to the Logan’s Run of our HCR plan at 62 they can stand before a death panel and be told that they’ll need to sacrifice themselves upon the altar of good government for the greater good.

    Bye grandma — you had your time.


  2. Emma

    Yeah, they look old enough to pose a significant cost burden on the rest of us.

  3. Ha! Well, all the power to them.

    Hubby and I spent part of our romantic weekend talking about how we plan to retire. We agree a modest home in the country, living frugally, enjoying simplicity, and maybe gardening, are things to look forward to.

    I told Hubby when we get those things, I probably won’t give a damn about people like Corey Stewart anymore. But I could be wrong.

  4. You will probably rethink that a few hundred times more before retirement.

    I guess I will still pay my outta pocket health care next month? Any miracles happen while I was watching TV? I could have a really nice new car for that that bad boy costs every month.

  5. Wolverine

    About that gardening, Pinko. Better get an early start on that. The knees go first. I’m willing to bet the farm that the gardening passes into history real quick and Pinko will be writing poetry day and night.

  6. Wolverine, I thought the same thing myself regarding the knees. You probably also aren’t going to want to get too far out in the country away from hospitals and such.

  7. Gainesville Resident

    Moon-howler :
    Wolverine, I thought the same thing myself regarding the knees. You probably also aren’t going to want to get too far out in the country away from hospitals and such.

    The knees definitely go. I’m still pretty young relatively speaking (51 at the end of the month) but Wednesday evening I had to go around marking things in my house with blue tape for the builder to fix. It was a lot of bending down low and marking things close to the floor in some places.

    My knees were still not feeling good on Saturday. They are definitely not in the shape they were when I was younger, sadly. I know 20 years ago I could have done all that bending down on my knees and not felt a thing!

    It’s not a good sign that at age 51 almost, my knees already show visibile signs of deterirorating. Athough, after Wednesday night’s experience, it got me thinking I need to start looking into doing some exercising to get my knees, and the rest of me, into a bit better shape.

  8. LOL! Thanks, everyone. I already have bad knees and have had them for awhile. Maybe I will stick to window boxes and let the wild flowers fill in the yard.

    I have been really grumpy since my abrupt return to reality and local politics. BLARG.

  9. And yeah, I definitely see myself writing poetry day and night, Wolverine : )

  10. punchak

    Seeing 80 in the rear view mirror, this is my morning, more or less: I get up, grind my coffee beans and enjoy the aroma, toast a couple of slices of Trader Joe bread, put a smear of mayo on them and cover with some shaved swiss cheese and tomto slices sprinkled with herbs. Take the stuff to my 4 ft circular dining table from where I can see the treetops in the nearby park, read the WashPost for at least an hour.

    Water aerobics twice a week, volunteer work at a thrift shop once a week, make my bed (WHY I don’t know; I’ll be back in it later). Once in a while lunch with other old ladies, a visit to the library, Wednesday movies with a couple of friends (cheap tickets for “golden agers”) followed by coffee.

    Confession: I spend about 4-5 hours on my computer! Red face>

  11. Wolverine

    Punchak — I know how you feel about those 4-5 hours on the computer. I used to get some serious work done around the house during the day. Then I caught this contagious disease known as “Moonhowleritis.” I’m afraid that a shrink might tell me to go into rehab to get over it. Some days it’s worse than nicotine.

  12. Gainesville Resident

    punchak :
    Confession: I spend about 4-5 hours on my computer! Red face>

    I WISH I only spent 4-5 hours a week of my leisure time on the computer! I think a lot of us spend way too much time on it these days. I have a feeling I suffer from some form of computer internet addiction. I estimate I probably spend 8 – 12 hours a week of my leisure time on the computer. Time that could probably be better spent on other things! Now that the weather’s getting nice, I’m going to make an effort to be outside more and spend a bit less of my leisure time on the computer. I guess in the winter I can sort of justify it – but it’s harder to justify spending that kind of time when the weather’s nice.

  13. Gainesville Resident

    Or maybe Punchak or Wolverine were saying they spent 4-5 hours a day on the computer. Fortunately, I don’t have that many hours of spare time each day, so I don’t do that. However, if I was retired, I could see that happening….

  14. Al

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (and the flavor of the sticker doesn’t matter, it’s just a funny story).

  15. Skeptic

    I believe in our Constitution and am a big fan of the II Amendment. That is why I absolutely support a person’s Constitutional right to open carry (carry a weapon in a holster for all to see) in all venues. I am also a big fan of the I Amendment. That is why I absolutely support a person’s Constitutional right to fart in Church. It is a protected form of free speech. The perpetrator of either Constitutional right knows that he or she is making a lot of other people uncomfortable and is offending normal societal standards of conduct; however, they appear to enjoy it and that is their right. I consider both roughly equivalent Constitutional rights and offensive acts.

    I can only imagine that in the small subset of the population that actually engages in these activities, the folks who open carry and fart in Church at the same time are true heroes to their peers.

  16. Oh Skeptic, too funny. Welcome to Moonhowlings. Keep coming back if you can bring logic like that. I wish you would post your ‘reasonings’ on a thread closer to the beginning for all to see. How about under the civility thread? I think it all deals with civility. 😉

  17. Punchak, good for you. You are sure a role model for the rest of us. And we are very glad you are here. You offer us a perspective that no one else can. (and I am no spring chick either)

    Think how much of the world is opened up to people now because of computers.

    Wolverine, I hope I don’t have to do an intervention! Mrs. Wolverine will kill us both. Is she still working or has she pulled the plug on the work nonsense?

  18. Wolverine

    Mrs. Wolverine still works part-time as a high school teacher. Boy, did I piss her off the other day. She was trying to tell me something about what happened during her day; and I was sitting there with one ear cocked toward her and the other toward one of the videos posted on this blog. I’ll never make that bonehead move again, I tell you. I had visions of that pelt on the wall!

    Glad you liked that joke, Al. Mrs. Wolverine took a look at that one and laughed louder than I have heard her laugh in a long, long time. You get a conservative like her to laugh at a joke involving a Republican sticker on a car bumper, and you have hit on a good one. I guess good humor transcends even politics.

  19. Wolverine

    Of course, now Mrs. Wolverine is making comments about that car down the street that still has a Kerry/Edwards sticker on it. You guys are going to get me into big trouble!!

  20. Al

    Wolverine, please thank the misses for a great laugh…

  21. I agree with Al, Wolverine. I think Mrs. Wolverine should go for it. Anyone dumb and lazy enought to keep a Kerry/Edwards sticker on their car simply has zero pride.

    Always listen to wives who teach high school. It saves the pelt and gives one a glimpse into the future. Those little ^&*() that she is dealing with are tomorrow’s future. They are going to be paying into your social security. Listen closely and be afraid, very afraid.

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