cuffsJust when we thought it was safe to go back to the City of Manassas, we find out that the sin of sex is lurking about on Battle Street. Oh my goodness! Some Godless sinner wants to set up a shop selling ‘marital aids.’

I suppose the major question should be whether the proposed shop will fit in with the decor of Old Town Manassas or will it have a giant condom the size of Gumby outside, luring customers in. Will Mr. Buzzy be out sitting on the bench outside the shop, showing all the ladies his talents?

Perhaps the shop keeper will behave as anyone wanting to do business and keep the ‘adult’ business inside and the kiddies out. Or, if ‘marital aids’ aka sex toys are just a sideline, perhaps there will be an adult section of the store. Anyone wanting to fit in needs to meet zoning standards and town codes. The decor should match everyone else.

Manassas is no stranger to stores of this nature. There is a Fashion Fantasy clothing shop over on rt. 28 that sells considerably more than fishnet stockings. No one seemed to mind that shop and it has been there for years. All sorts of dirty little secrets can be bought at Fashion Fantasy on 28. If any of the town leaders are upset because the new shop will be in Old Town, then that is pretty hypocritical. I guess it is ok to have an erotic shop over near the trailer park but not too close to the more upscale part of town. Some things never change.

Little birds are telling me that some of the fine folks of Manassas have some fairly draconian plans to discourage customers. So much for the concept of free market. Probably those who are in the biggest tail spin over the new shop are the ones who do a lot of catalog orders. [wink wink]


Coming soon to a place on Battle Street
Coming soon to a place on Battle Street

89 Thoughts to “The Free Market God Squad of Anti-Capitalism”

  1. Thanks Marin! Too funny. (the comments)

  2. I think a lot of Delegate Jackson Miller, but I disagree with this e-mail marketing piece from him that someone forwarded to me:


    Last night I was informed of some extremely disturbing news. After spending over $300,000 of our tax dollars on improvements to give Battle Street a facelift, what do we get? A porn shop.

    This porn shop is less than 100 feet from the Center for the Arts at the Candy Factory. The Candy Factory is also home to the Pied Piper Theatre, which is a children’s theatre company. It is also home to numerous children’s camps.

    This porn shop is also within blocks of at least six houses of worship, Osbourn High School, Seton School and Baldwin Elementary. It sits right on the street where we hold several family-friendly Old Town festivals, including the upcoming Fall Festival. It is only one block away from the train station, Manassas Museum, and the Harris Pavilion where we have family concerts and local charity benefits.

    Thousands of tourists come to learn about our history by visiting the Manassas Museum and then stroll right up Battle Street to see what the charming City of Manassas has to offer. What is one of the first places they will now come across? The porn shop.
    A porn shop in Old Town Manassas makes the heinous Liberty Street sign seem like child’s play.

    So many people have worked tirelessly, and hundreds of thousands of tax dollars have been spent trying to make Old Town Manassas a family-friendly experience to dine, shop and visit. A porn shop dropped right into the middle of all that the City of Manassas has worked so hard to achieve simply does not mix.

    What Do We Do?

    I have been told by some on Manassas City Council that this shop, by right, is a retail establishment which is legal. A special use permit was not required. According to those same council members, city staff didn’t tell them when the shop applied for its permit. Therefore, from the City Council level, this already may be a “done deal”.

    I have been warned by others not to charge straight into this situation. They have suggested that a furor would only give the porn shop more publicity and more business. However, I simply cannot just sit back and take a “wait and see” approach.

    So now to the point. What can we do? I have thought up a couple of simple, but hopefully effective, ideas. Perhaps a long and sustained letter and phone campaign to both the owner of the shop and the landlords. Maybe a sustained group of two or three volunteers standing in front of, or near the shop, with a video camera doing a live feed to the internet. Bad or good ideas? Let me know what you think.

    I certainly don’t have all the answers to any issue. In fact, I get many good ideas from friends and constituents. As such, I have scheduled a town hall meeting for Tuesday, September 7th at 7:00 p.m., in the City Council chambers at Manassas City Hall to hear ideas and suggestions from you. Please let me know your thoughts on the best ways we can address this issue.

    I understand this is less than one week away, and that September 7th the first day of school, but this issue is too important for us to just sit idle and take the “wait and see” approach.

    For my more liberal and libertarian friends, I will tell you that this is not a general campaign against pornography. This is about keeping Old Town Manassas a positive and family-friendly place to visit, work and live.

    Please try to attend Tuesday evening, September 7th, and please pass this message on to your friends, family and co-workers.

    The reputation of Old Town Manassas is at stake.

    Delegate Jackson Miller

    He is circulating this same information on Facebook. This just doesn’t seem like this is his style. I’m surprised.

  3. Censored bybvbl

    Since Jackson Miller called this business a”porn shop” no fewer than seven times in his screed and said, “For my more liberal and libertarian friends, I will tell you that this is not a general campaign against pornography”, I’d be interested in his definition of pornography; and if this isn’t ” a general campaign against pornography”, just what the heck is it? Just how many children or people in general do you see in Old Town on any given day? Not many. They’re more afraid of being run over by the traffic on rt. 28 than having their eyes burned out by a sign which reads “adult dvds”.

  4. Calling the adult boutique a porn shop cheapens the city of Manassas far more than anything else.

    I am very upset over the suggestion that a cure might be to video those patronizing the shop and feed it to a site on the web.

    I know people who would be willing to be the guinea pigs here. One of those bring it on statements but be prepared for the consequences. sniff sniff…is that a lawsuit?

  5. Censored bybvbl

    M-h, I think a little counter-protest might be called for. How about some folks holding Miller for delegate signs along with “I support this shop”. Or “wave for the City Council’s cameras!” Maybe the shop owner would like a “Miller for delegate” sign for the window. I think as many people are appalled by cameras as they are by adult boutiques. One is definitely more Big Brotherish than the other.

  6. Second-Alamo

    “I guess it is ok to have an erotic shop over near the trailer park but not too close to the more upscale part of town.”

    Why MH, I think you’ve just offended those trailer park folks! After all they’re just trying to save money on housing to help put their children through college for all you know. If you are offended by the lower class generalization of Mexican illegal immigrants, then the trailer park comment is no different. : )

  7. Sounds like a plan, Censored. We will have to watch for the first camera out there. I like the campaign sign idea. You are good with plans!

    SA, well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to compare the boutiques in old town to the car places on route 28, or the houses on Grant Avenue, West Street and Battlefield to a trailer park. Some are more upscale than others. My apologies if they didn’t realize this.

    Did the City spend $300,000 upscaling the 28 corridor? Didn’t think so.

    I am trying to think if I have ever indicated I am offended by the lower class generalization of Mexican illegal immigrants. I don’t think that has ever been in question. Where I went over the top is over words like vermin.

  8. Wolverine

    “Al’s Used Dildos”!!! Rick, you have outdone yourself. I nearly fell off my chair laughing— again. I say “again” because I had only just recovered from envisioning George’s blowup doll.

  9. Yea, Wolverine, our guys are just a laugh a minute. I think they are cute and funny.

    ps don’t encourage Rick. It goes to his head and he misbehaves. :mrgreen:

  10. Second-Alamo

    I say fight for porn shops on every corner, and why not allow them near grade schools. Heck, our morals have dropped so low in this country, and everyone’s rights have taken on such importance that what better way to exercise those rights than to stick it in every well meaning person’s face just to prove your point. That, I guarantee you will help move this country in the right direction. NOT. (Several here were probably cheering while reading my sarcastic support.)

  11. Emma

    I have four kids, so obviously I like kids. But I also do not like this idea that everything must be “kid-friendly.” Don’t large cities have these types of shops right near libraries, schools, entertainment venues?

    Just because I choose to have kids does not mean the rest of the world has to put chicken nuggets on their menus.

  12. SA, tell us what you consider a porn shop. I don’t think we can take anything that deals with sex and calls it a porn shop. Let’s start with something everyone is familar with. Do you think Victoria’s Secret is a porn shop?

  13. Lafayette

    This is one of the most entertaining threads I’ve read on this or any blog for that matter. As Marin stated Insidenova’s FB page has open comments. There’s some good commentary there too.

    Emma(the happily married lady),
    I can’t stop laughing. You are spot on in every one of your posts. The city sure doesn’t mind having two other shops of this nature. One of which is located across from Kinder Care, a middle school and our public library. The desire to keep this shop out of Old Town reeks of Old Town elitism.
    Does being a happily married woman make you an OWP? 😉

    Will one Mr. Creston Owen being attending this ribbon cutting in Old Town? He sure seems to be in a picture of every other ribbon cutting ceremony in Old Town. Will this new “hot spot” be on the list of places to visit during next year’s Sesquicentennial?

    Everyone, thanks for the laughs. I really needed them.

  14. That’s a good point, Emma. No one offered up that one.

    Apparently the Candy Factory has many classes there for kids and that was a concern. I would understand more if there were nudie pictures in the windows and and ‘products’ in the window. There are ‘things’ out there I wouldn’t want to have to explain to a kid. (with my luck I wouldn’t KNOW what it was myself.) That’s the reason the City should have code that covers that topic. Personal type items of all kinds don’t need to be in the front window of any shop. The merchants of Old Town should be policing themselves with an BOA.

    One of the things I found a bit artificial, in my readings and conversations, was the reference to schools and churches. Since when does there have to be such a wide seperation between churches and ‘sin?’ I was told it wasn’t fair to churches to have a ‘porn shop’ within 500 feet. When did the puritans land?

    Adult Boutiques aren’t porn shops unless one has a mighty broad interpretation of ‘porn.’ Next thing we know, some do-gooder will want to remove all statues of David and Venus de Milo.

  15. Lafayette

    Where are these hordes of Puritans landing in our fair city? Are they entering with proper documentation?

  16. Rick Bentley

    “ps don’t encourage Rick. It goes to his head and he misbehaves” You know it!

    I’m worried about some of these other businesses expanding into Old Town next, after or before Al’s Used Dildos makes a run :

    Ye Olde Lubrications and Implements

    Ye Olde Condom Shoppe

    Good Vibrations

    Jed and Cooter’s Used Porn Tapes

    Dildos and Things

    Bed, Bath, Dungeon, and Beyond

    Disembodied Vaginas, Incorporated

    The Whipping Post

    McKay’s Used Sex Toys

    The Spunk Factory

    Hardons Unlimited

  17. D.V.Ant

    Perhaps that shopmaster Greg L will feature his finest Condom Girl for a few of Rick’s shops. No one loves to go on and on about prurient things like the dark master does.

  18. You two are bad. This might be a family blog. 🙄

  19. marinm

    MH, I don’t see an issue with any of the shop names that Rick suggests.

    The free market will regulate itself. If the shop were to put up questionable advertising in its front displays it may have a negative impact to business. If it’s tasteful I think it can make some good coin and help revitalize an area devoid of business.

    If Code Pink wanted to open up a store front to sell their hate material I’d defend there ability to do so just as much as I would a gun store or in this case an adult store.

  20. marin, I was kidding Rick. I was not admonishing.

    I think a city has every right to have codes in place for the types of businesses it wants to attract. You don’t want a towing center in the middle of boutiques. You want businesses to adhere to theme. Think about a place like West Yellowstone where even McDonalds has to conform to that yogi Bear look.

    I think businesses can also form HOA or rather BOA to help this along. However, arbitrarily calling something a porno shop is outlandish and at this point, rather unmerited.

    I expect the adult boutique might just pump some money into Old Town. How many people come down there to shop anyway? Eat and drink yes. Shop? Nah. Ashby’s Jewelry does good repair work. I would go over there for repair work but that is it.

    K K Temptations needs to have a Christmas in September for its grand opening. All sorts of people will go there. I was told people would leave old town because of the shop. Ha! I seriously doubt that. I think the new shop might be a revitalizer. It might just bring some younger people into the city and some of new money.

    Sort of brings a new twist to Urban Renewal.

  21. The black velvet thread on this subject is the best reading in town. I strongly urge you to give Greg your business today because I simply cannot compete with the sideshow over there. It is great.

    This old psych major has never seen so much sexual repression under one cyber roof in my entire life. High entertainment, starting with quoting the definition of pornography to the lecture on Jesus against marital aids. People that rant, rave and rail against other people’s sex lives that much must have serious hang ups or else they are covering up some kinky “alphabet life style” that they just don’t want anyone to know about.

    Most people would have no problem going in to check out K K Temptations, wearing their own face. However, if I am accosted with a camera, the busy body owner of the camera had better make advanced plans to have it surgically removed.

  22. marinm

    You know, I’m amused that no one has made the connection between this store and the Spencer’s in our local malls. Sure this place amps it up but there are plenty of ‘novelty’ items for sale and plenty of kids roaming around those stores.

    I’ll probably need to ask forgiveness from my priest for this but in keeping with the theme of ‘signs’ in front of the store.. What about a logo that looks like the “Intel Inside” but change it to Jesus Approved!.

    Yah, that just scored me a few Hail Mary’s. Back in a few hours..!

  23. bwaaahahahahaha. Too funny.

    Elena and I talked about Spencers. And at Manassas Mall it used to be fairly close to Victoria’s Secret with all the bustiers in the window. I never knew that to keep people from the mall with their kids.

  24. Emma

    Victoria’s Secret catalogues and window displays are nothing short of soft-core porn, yet the strollers pass by without anyone batting an eyelash. I forgot all about Spencers–I haven’t set foot in that store in years, because it’s fairly obnoxious. I seem to remember they used to sell drug paraphernalia, too. Is that still the case?

    I can’t get the image of all of the frenzied naysayers wearing Big Love-style lovemaking jammies out of my head, Lafayette 😉

  25. Emma

    @Moon-howler “The black velvet thread on this subject is the best reading in town. I strongly urge you to give Greg your business today because I simply cannot compete with the sideshow over there. It is great.”

    I saw this over there: “No one said sex is sinful in it’s rightful place. I know that the Catholic Church believes that sex is a gift for the purpose of procreation (not recreation) in a valid marriage between one man and one woman.”

    Sheesh, so once you hit menopause, it’s all over then? Who’s gonna stand in line with me to go to confession now?

  26. I’ll go with you but don’t tell that I am not a tribe member.

    No Recreating.

    Do people really believe this? That might be a reason I am not a tribe member. 🙄

  27. Rick Bentley

    Spencers is still full of drug paraphenalia and sexual stuff. I took my grandson in there to get a lava lamp, not having any idea.

  28. marinm

    Hrm. Watch out for a head shop being opened up nearby. I can already see the big $$$ in providing those products. Maybe Octopus Garden can open up a Manassas location??

    As a funny aside, it appears that Octopus Garden is a “Beatles” song. My wife tells me the “Beatles” we’re a big band back in the day.

  29. Yes, Octopus Garden is a Beatles’ song. The Cirque du Soli Love did a great job with it.

    I always thought Spencers was sort of seedy. Is it still at the mall?

  30. Censored bybvbl

    I think Spencers is still there. DH and I checked it out a couple years ago to see if they carried any political crapola that we could add to our collection.

    Ha ha – the dark screen is an entertaining read today. Even the resident religious loony weighed in on good and evil. Time will tell if any of the nay-sayers will show up with pickets. It’s like carrying a big sign on one’s back saying “I’m a prude”. Miller’s public hearing might be a good form of free entertainment. Maybe I’ll go.

    The Beatles weren’t as big a band as the Stones. 😉

  31. D.V.Ant

    The resident religious loony doesn’t narrow it down much.

    The one who shows up at citizens time is enough to kill off all sex urges. Get her out there with a sign.

  32. Elena

    Just some interesting info on why only certain female species in the animal kingdom experience orgasm. Afterall, only men HAVE to orgasm to procreate, why should certain female species have the same joy?

  33. “Owner Kimberly Skokan, of Fairfax County, told News4 her boutique will be upscale with nothing more in the front window than what you might see at a mall lingerie store. Not everyone is against her. Some of her business neighbors support her right to open the store. KK’s Temptations is scheduled to open next month.” – From the News 4 website

    Maybe Ms. Skokan can display those Big Love jammies in the window, along with a gay 90’s swimsuit.

  34. Wolverine, you guys fight over courthouses and manger scenes. We fight over adult boutiques.

  35. Thanks for that info Cindy. Elena, TMI? bwaaahahahahaha

    I still say that KK Temptations might just inject a shot of energy in the arm of Old Town. Perhaps those who fear the idea of an upscale adult store have never been in one. It might just become the most frequented boutique in town.

  36. Wolverine

    Many more threads like this and this blog could be banned in Boston. Well, maybe Boston, Georgia (pop 1436).

    Moon, we are not limited in our endeavors in Loudoun. The Sheriff’s Office has been closing down questionable massage parlors around here like it was the No. 1 priority of law enforcement. But, ahem….Once the word gets around, you might want to be on the alert for some more new establishments in Old Town Manassas. Chuckle, chuckle. “You Numbah One G.I.” George probably remembers that one.

  37. Ah ha! You guys just think you are talking code. [wink wink]

    Is that you numbah one G. I., wanna buy me a drink?

    (Marine boyfriend in the olden days)

    Those massage parlors will probably head right on over to route one near numbah one GI city…Quantico.

    Its good to know that your sheriff is all over those massage parlors. High crime in Loudoun! Meanwhile, we will just sizzle here on moonhowlings!

    I am glad you are home, Wolverine!

  38. TWINAD

    OMG, I can’t believe I didn’t see this thread earlier. I am really howling. LOL! And I agree AGAIN with Emma for about the third time in only a couple of weeks.

    And Rick’s McKay’s Used Sex Toys made me laugh. A lot of things made me laugh. Thanks, everybody! BFD!

  39. ARe you going to the City town hall meeting on Tues. at 7 pm?

    Might as well put your 2 cents in if you can stop laughing long enough. 😉

Comments are closed.