shhh

Seriously, people.  Don’t we have anything better to do than sit around and gossip about who is sleeping with whom or who wants to sleep with whom or who wants to just sleep with anyone?  It was fun and now it’s time to move on, leaving this perceived hotbed of horniness behind.

Many of us have trawled and trolled through the extensive list of (mostly) men who for whatever reason, went on AshleyMadison.com, a match maker for just about anyone.    I saw the names of about 20 local people I knew.  I have lived in the area a long time.  Some I didn’t care about one way or the other.  Other names made me sad because of the leap to judgement that seems to be the human condition when perceived wrong-doing is in question.  Some folks weather these things  better than others.

People have different reasons for going to sites like that.  They probably have different reasons for coming to my blog also.  It certainly doesn’t mean that they are having an affair or looking for love in all the wrong places.  It could just mean they are curious or bored.   We just don’t know.  Frankly, unless we are married to one of those people, it isn’t any of our business.

I was able to create an account just this morning with no money involved.  I wanted to see how easy it was.  Naturally, I didn’t use my real name.  I thought about doing an account on someone I didn’t like but then I thought that probably wasn’t decent behavior.   Oh and did I forget to include I wasn’t looking for an affair, I just wanted to see how easy it was to create an account.

The people who really end up getting hurt when these things hit the proverbial fan are the spouses and children.  They didn’t ask for any of this unwanted attention.  How many families have now been  opened up to ridicule, prying eyes and yes, blackmail.

gossip_logo

“Mrs. Snowden” is a liar and a thief and cares about no one.  That individual should go to jail for decades.  Yet some folks believe what “she” says.  Funny that Mrs. Snowden is privy to so much inside information.

Some bloggers have taken absolute delight in  this latest expose’ as well as salacious information about  others in the past.  Why exploit information both real and imagined at the expense of others?  Some people, I suppose, are just drawn to what they perceive as “dirty.”  I hope those bloggers understand the pain they have caused the families of their victims.

The real hitting the fan is going to be over the thousands upon thousands of government and military IP addresses that have now been exposed.  Are  the taxpayers footing the bill for employees to troll hoochie mama sites?  Are we paying people to come to work to check in on match up sites?  I hope not.

Most serious of all is the fact that people can now be blackmailed.  A private citizen only has his friends, family and neighbors to worry about.  Those checking out Ashley Madison from work put other things at risk since the hackers have other information on these people that hasn’t yet been released.  Government workers and those in the military could easily be blackmailed and more.  According to Fox 40 news:

Many of the cheaters exposed in this hack serve in the U.S. military, evident because they used email addresses that end in the .mil domain. Adultery does, in fact, violate Uniform Code of Military Justice. It’s a prosecutable offense that can land you a year in confinement and a dishonorable discharge.

I wouldn’t go so far as to use the word “cheaters” to apply to any of these people.  Being on a list isn’t cheating.  What is cheating?  That’s pretty much the limits and boundaries each couple establishes with each other.  It’s a private matter.  Where it becomes an issue with me is when politicians who have campaigned on sexual issues get caught with their pants down, so to speak.  Now everyone likes catching a big hypocrite.  Other than that, it really isn’t our business.  Time to move on.  Enough harm has been done.

 

 

30 Thoughts to “Ashley Madison: Big F*king Deal”

  1. Morris Davis

    I agree with you in general, but I think there’s an exception for hypocrites who’ve made a name for themselves by claiming their moral values are superior and everyone else is going to hell. The best example of that is former Family Research Council senior official Josh Duggar who, while touting his strong religious faith and bashing same sex couples and others that people like him consider deviant, had a history of child molestation and an Ashley Madison account. I think people like that who’ve lined their pockets through their hypocrisy deserve everything that’s flung back at them.

    1. Totally agree, Moe. The hypocrites absolutely get no immunity from me.

  2. Mom

    There is a perfect local example of just such a hypocrite who is on the list, one whom Moon should be very familiar with given his prior office. I wonder if he did the “math” prior to setting up his account.

    1. Math isn’t “family values. If I am following you, I see not conflict. I don’t think that individual ever flaunted his family values.

  3. mom

    @Moon-howler
    Oh no, he was most certainly the most holier than thou

  4. @mom

    I never knew that side. Remember, I was sitting on the other side of the table in those days.

    Now I sit at no table. Thank goodness.

  5. Cargosquid

    Those that used military emails…..are in trouble.

    Adultery is punishable under the UCMJ…especially if it makes you susceptible to blackmail and you have a clearance.

  6. Cato the Elder

    This will be my very rare, 100% serious post for this year.

    Anytime you have an event like the Ashley Madison breach, there is naturally a great level of curiosity about who might be on the list. Hackers and other unscrupulous actors know this, and use it to their advantage. Please be very, very careful if you choose to visit a seemingly innocuous website to search through this data, or before clicking on anything in an email titled “list of Ashley Madison accounts in Manassas” or similar. It would not be at all surprising if the group that breached AM did so as the first phase of a campaign to compromise tons of systems, and are simply using the data as bait to execute phase two.

  7. Thank you for your words of wisdom, Cato.

    I will be mindful myself.

  8. Sean

    There are at least four PW Police officers on that list…that’s a big deal with the police code of conduct. A big deal.

    You have a point about it being just gossip…but one of our local elected officials is very holier than thou and popped up on the list.

    1. I am surprised only 4 cops showed up on the list. I won’t elaborate.

      Holier than thou is not a good place to be when things like this happen. Those who have taken on the feet of clay role usually survive much better than those who trumpet their family values.

      Having said that, Being on that list proves nothing. Being on a list doesn’t make one an adulterer. It doesn’t make them not one either.

      Did anyone else notice the absence of women? Who are all these men being adulterers with? I saw about 10 women on the list. They must be extremely busy.

      I see little difference in this and a chat room. Perhaps someone can explain the subtle differences to me.

    2. I will elaborate, on second thought. I was surprised only 4 cops showed up. Look at the list of teachers. 4 out of about 600 is a very low ratio. If we are talking just PWC cops, that’s not even aa blip on the statistical radar.

  9. Lyssa

    Think cops and teachers that aren’t using official government email accounts are the same as any other private citizen. Looks like a big list of military guys and Cargo is right, this will be interesting to watch.

    Saw a couple with their two little kids (girl about 11 and boy about 9) at a pretty explicit R movie recently – it was pretty shocking. Sitting in chairs with Mom and Dad right under a plethora of bumper stickers that were very vocal about their religious beliefs, love for the Lord and hatred of liberals. (Drive in near Lexington). Maybe they bought the SUV used….hard to get so upset as Moon says – there are other issues.

    Wonder what his email address is…

    1. Cops and teachers are the same as everyone else if they are using their own internet, unless of course, someone recognizes their name. Then the old moral turpitude clause kicks in. Then they become public figures. The real killer used to be if a cop or teacher got picked up in one of the gay hang outs. I saw it happen a couple of times. Very sad.

      I can’t see someone’s life and career being ruined over these things. After all , David Vitter remained in Congress after being on a hooker list. To me, that’s far more damaging.

  10. It isn’t enough for some blog owners to try to make life miserable for people who are just here to make a living.

    One in particular takes particular delight in exposing other people’s sex lives or what he perceives to be other people’s sex lives. What drives a person to do this? Is their own sex life so vanilla, so dull and uninteresting that he has to poke his nose in someone else’s?

    When you keep on doing this, then you get a bad reputation. What I find even more odd is that this blogger goes after people not in his district, in the interest of being a tax payer.

    Oh bullshit!

    Let’s face it….those who have an abnormal prurient interest in other people’s sex lives should be watched and watched closely. Something just ain’t right.

  11. It looks like we have the new Morals Police living right here in the Gainesville District.

    I think he is jealous. He isn’t on the inside, he’s on the outside looking in.

    In sports we call these people “jock sniffers.” What do we call people who are jealous of a political seat? In this case, could it be that the Morals Policeman is a “seat sniffer?” Is he jealous because he isn’t in the political inner circle?

    Could it be he lacks power and influence and by trying to take out seated politicians on some trumped up “moral turpitude” charge, he feels he will gain power, prestige or relevance?

    Remember how going after a local well-loved police chief backfired? It looks like that might happen again. Back to obscurity.

    Our local Morals Police might want to take a refresher course from Krystal Ball and ask her out her public morals shaming worked out for her. Oh to be caught with your husband….

  12. Mom

    Meh, when it comes to local officials, particularly elected ones, such is part and parcel of accepting the job, mantle of responsibility and potential public scrutiny. Those non-elected officials who used their workplace e-mails are equally fair game. At the end of the day do you really want somebody stupid enough to use the name, address and credit card information on such a site also responsible for the direction of local affairs and the expenditure of our tax dollars.

    Whether they are cheating or not is not my issue, that they were stupid enough to put their information out there without fully realizing the potential outcome floors me. I have much more respect for those intelligent enough to use gift cards and names like blueballsoffire@johndoe.net.

    1. Scrutiny by the public who has little else to do with their time.

      You ask if I want someone stupid enough….I really don’t care what people do on their own time. Becoming an elected official or a public figure shouldn’t put your personal life in a gold fish bowl.

      All of a sudden I feel like we live in Footloose.

    2. MoM, I do agree with you about using the work place email. That violates the acceptable internet use policy of most companies, organizations and government.

      People on their own accounts–I could care less about.

      I learned my lesson many years ago on being judgemental. When I was young and stupid, I stopped speaking to someone I knew because I assumed he was cheating on his wife. Turns out, it was the wife cheating on the husband. It also wasn’t the first time and the poor guy was raising his 2 elementary aged kids while she was out messing around. The first time she had left, she left him with 2 toddlers.

      I felt like an idiot for publically snubbing someone. We remained life long friends until his fairly recent death.

  13. Pat.Herve

    Very funny that some of the Holy Rollers (Josh Duggar for example) are on the list. And they look down at others. I feel sorry for the spouses and children of the signer upper. The info released was from credit card charges – so if someone is on the list, they paid for something (access at least).

    1. Sometimes spouses are part of the sign up. You just never know. I do feel badly for the family hurt involved.

      Josh Duggar is just a hypocrite.

      Access to something isn’t the same as setting up some woman in a penthouse. I read something interesting today in one of the papers. When women fool around, something is wrong with their primary relationship. When men fool around, for real or just imaginary, they could be deeply in love with their wives, girl friends or significant others. They just want to check things out. That has been pretty much true in all cases I know about.

      Different engines driving the train.

  14. Lyssa

    Don’t tell Wolve, there are REPUBLICANS on the list. Gasp…

    1. Tell me it’s not so!!!

  15. Pat.Herve

    @Lyssa
    They must be RINO’s or Liberals.

  16. Steve Thomas

    @Moon-howler
    Of course there are. No segment of society, no ideology, no religion or denomination,nor lack thereof, is immune to the human frailties that have afflicted our social interaction, throughout history. The day I realized I was conservative, which proceeded my acceptance of Christ by several years, did not inoculate me from the temptations of this world, and disappointingly, neither did my surrender to Christ. What it did do is establish a “new justice system” and accountability to my brothers and sisters in Christ.

    The people who are on this list are victims of a crime. The hack is a crime, and the people posting this information are perpetuating the further furtherance of this crime. Is it a crime to be a hypocrite? We are all guilty of this at some level. Lust? All have lusted after something or someone, as it is human nature.

    So a woman is walking through a “bad neighborhood”. Her skirt is a “little on the short-side”. Maybe she is known to be a bit “liberated”. She gets raped. Is she somehow at fault?

    What do we know about this site? By all appearances, it was one big scam…a virtual strip club. Fake female profiles for the purposes of separating men, from their money, with very little chance (infinitely small) of an actual affair occurring. Just interacting with beautifully fake manufactured personae. All that was missing was the pole, the music, and the shoes.

    These people don’t need our scorn, or our judgement. If they violated some work rule, let them face the consequences. If they violated the trust of a spouse or partner, let them deal with it. But society as a whole needs to look in the mirror, and drop the stone the are prepared to cast.

    And for those who say, “Steve’s gotten soft”, I will invite you to coffee. Be sure to bring your Bible. I will mercifully school you on how far from Christ you are, all the while admitting how far I am also, thankful for the daily Grace I receive.

  17. Steve, I have to give you a standing ovation on that post.

    Btw, I was kidding Wolve. You are right, no one is immune.

    I think you spelled it out best, anyone on that list is a victim of crime. In fact, I am working on a post about cyber terrorism as it relates to AM hacking.

    My daughter told me tonight that the women aren’t charged, that’s why there were virtually no women listed. Right there, if that is true, proves your point about a hoax.

    Your question, about the short-skirted woman…at fault? No. Could she have made better choices? Yes. Is there a fine line? I believe so. I look at things like that from a statistical point of view. There are perverts and rapists in this world. They can get you over on Pill Hill or in a “bad neighborhood.” I believe the point is, why increase your chances.

    I think we need to look at the horror and terrorism that this breach caused. I read tonight that there have been suicides and hate crimes committed since this information was leaked. Will things ever be the same about information? Probably not.

    The breach could be email, your bank statement, your medical records, or just about anything. There really is no privacy. The names published on that list were victims of cyber terrorism. Who knows what kind of havoc it caused or will cause in their lives.

    I do hope people will take you up on your offer. I think I come at this perhaps from a different angle but we end up at the same place.

  18. @Steve Thomas
    I always thought *I* was conservative when growing up.

    I can see the eyes rolling now. 🙄

  19. Steve Thomas

    I wasn’t going to comment on any of this, but felt compelled to do so when I read that the suicides have begun. I imagine there will be more. We shall hear about some, and others will go unreported.

    1. Reading about hate crimes is unsettling also. Can you imagine going after someone over this (that you aren’t going with or married to…I suppose I should put THAT caveat in there). That certainly is taking the moral police to a new level.

      Steve, you are correct. Some will go unreported and we may never know about some of the others. The entire thing is just overblown and sad.

  20. Lyssa

    Yeah, I really don’t like to see a rush to judgement either.

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